"My Rebellious Era"
I’m Eri Maeda, an artist from Japan, based in Paris. I am turning 36 this year.
And this... is my rebellious era.
When I was younger, I was a good girl.
I followed rules, put others first, stayed obedient, and never wanted to bother anyone.
I just wanted to fit into society, to blend in.
One of the things I tried so hard to be… was pretty.
Because growing up, people always complimented me.
They said, “You’re so thin,” or “You have such long legs.”
But when I gained weight, or when I stopped dressing up, or didn’t wear makeup — the compliments stopped.
And without meaning to, I started to believe something:
That being pretty was the way to be accepted.
That it was how I could be loved.
So I started chasing it.
I followed all the beauty rules —
How to walk, how to talk, how to smile, how to dress.
The list in my head got longer and longer.
It became like a rulebook I was living by.
And still, I didn’t feel beautiful.
I didn’t feel enough.
People noticed how I looked — but not who I was inside.
They didn’t ask what I thought.
They didn’t see my feelings, my ideas, my real self.
Later, I realized:
These rules I followed… they were never really for me.
They were made to keep me busy, distracted, spending money, and doubting myself.
That made me mad!
Because all that time, I could’ve been growing the things that truly matter.
Like asking:
What do I love?
What do I believe in?
So now, I’m in my rebellious era.
I’m not trying to be perfect.
I’m not trying to fit in.
I want to be real.
I want to be free.
I want to laugh loud, wear what I want, and make art that feels alive.
I want to say no to all the fake rules that tell us we’re not enough.
I’m done with that.
I’m building a life where I don’t need permission.
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